Cleaning

House is a real mess today i have to clean it. The rain out side is really hammering now, it brings me down. It's hard to motivate my self to do anything when your as stoned as i am. but it looks like i will get some sort of surf tomorrow in Brighton. My whole life is a mess at the moment. I'm turning 30 next month, i don't have a regular income, I'm single and i have absolutely no idea what to do with the rest of my life. I'm supposed to know, i went to university and got a degree in biology, all that succeeded in teaching me is that I'm not really that interested in the subject. So after many years of drifting around doing this and that I'm now trying to become a photographer, either that or a deck hand in the med. Brilliant. I feel sick at what life has become i have to find a better way. i spend my days sitting on my arse getting stoned taking pictures and sitting on the internet. I need a job but i cant bring myself to work in a shite job. I'm becoming unemployable. all the achievements i have in my life are being pissed away by my own apathetic nightmare. i think i should leave London, but if not Anteeb then what. travel money alps oz new Zealand sailing Canada America boats, its all spinning round my head maybe tomorrow will help me think.